My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
