Heybabeimwearingurpanties
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
