physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
