I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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