Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
my shit smells like andre
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
