I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
