so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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