she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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