It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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