hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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