she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
