Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Randomize
