whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
