MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
