he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
