The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
