i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
