I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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