That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Randomize
