Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
