My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
