So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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