maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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