actually, I'm a sock model
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
