I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Quick, to the slutcave!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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