She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
