i don't like sucking hair
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
