what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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