I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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