my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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