you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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