OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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