I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
