At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
