do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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