He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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