david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
