in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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