Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
