It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
