Ambien. No doubt about it.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
