a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
