Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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