I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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