The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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