is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
