Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I woke up under a house in Key West
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