all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
