Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
