is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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