I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
