i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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